Are you trying to figure out the right words to say to comfort your depressed friend or loved one? Here are six examples you can use to show that you care.
Clinical depression is a common mental health disorder that affects people around the world, so chances are you also know someone who is struggling with this.
In case you didn’t know, your support can be highly instrumental in their recovery. Research suggests when a person has consistent and stable social connections, the likelihood of depression decreases. Providing social support can make them feel that they are not alone — an incredible help in coping with depressive episodes.
But remember, the words you actually say are just as important as the approach you use when talking to them. To help guide you navigate your conversation with someone battling depression, we listed six helpful things you can say to show that you care for them.
1. “I’m here for you when you’re ready.”
A person fighting depression may experience challenges in self-expression. So, don’t force them to open up. Instead, let them know that you’re available when they’re ready to talk. This small gesture is gentle but impactful enough to make them trust you and feel that they have a space safe to release their emotions.
If the person isn’t particularly forthcoming about their depression, you can gently ease them into opening up by asking them if they’ve been having a hard time lately. Their response will give you the cue you need to determine whether they’re willing to talk about what they’re feeling.
If they’re not yet ready to open up, just remind them that you love them and that they can come to you anytime. Even though they might not be ready to talk at the moment, hopefully, they’ll remember what you said and take you up on your offer.
2. “How can I help you?”
Depression can make simple tasks seem like a giant hurdle to overcome. The fatigue and lack of motivation can negatively affect someone’s ability to make decisions and function on a daily basis. So, asking what you can do to help them navigate through their depressive symptoms can lift a big weight off their shoulders.
It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, it can be simple tasks like preparing their meal, driving them to work, or even just listening. The goal is to take a portion of the burden off of them to make their lives a little bit more bearable.
3. “How is your treatment going?”
One of the best help you can give them is accountability when it comes to their treatment and medication. By asking them how their treatment is going, you gain insight into their progress and get the opportunity to encourage them to be consistent with their treatment plan.
Additionally, you can provide little snippets of affirmations by calling out improvements when you notice them. This is a great way to help them feel that they’re on the road to recovery and build a more optimistic outlook, especially during days when it doesn’t feel like it.
4. “You are not alone.”
One of the worst weapons of depression is generating a feeling of isolation, fear, and humiliation which causes people to feel alone and withdraw from their community. As a result, many don’t seek help or try to deal with their depression on their own. This is not good as loneliness can aggravate depressive symptoms.
Reaffirming them that they are not alone can help counter this lie. Let them know that even if you may not fully understand what they’re going through, you are 100% there for them and they can come to you. They don’t have to suffer in silence.
If you’ve had your own struggles with depression, you can let them know the journey they’re going through and you understand them completely. Just make sure that as you do this, you’re keeping the focus on them and you’re listening at all times.
5. “You are important and loved.”
“My life doesn’t matter.”
“No one will care when I’m gone.”
These are the common lies of depression and it can push people to take their own lives. So, telling depressed people that they are loved and wanted is essential in helping them see that life is still worth living.
A good practice you can do is to tell them of one reason why they matter to you per day. You can either describe a quality you love about them or a gesture they did that you appreciate. The idea of being valued by someone can provide a comforting feeling that can help them appreciate their life better.
6. “It’s okay to feel that way.”
Sometimes, letting them know that what they’re feeling is okay and valid is all that they need. Acknowledging that overcoming depression and its symptoms is difficult can make them feel safer and seen. There are days when you’ll just have to sit with them without talking and that’s okay. The goal is for them to know that you’ve taken a posture of acceptance and not of judgment.
Over time, they will grow more comfortable with you and might seek your help. This is when you can give suggestions on steps they can take to manage their depression better. Apart from receiving medication and treatment, there are some natural remedies that you can suggest:
- Exercise: One of the best ways to naturally lighten a person’s mood, even an hour of physical activity per week can already have positive impacts on their mental health.
- Journaling: A highly recommended practice by mental health experts, journaling can help provide a safe and healthy release for their emotions. A great notebook is an option for traditionalists, while digital journals like Reflectly can be perfect for modernists who prefer having a less bulky mental health companion that’s accessible anytime and anywhere.
- Getting enough sleep: Someone with depression is most likely to have sleep troubles, so try to encourage them to set a routine bedtime that lets them get 8 hours of sleep every day.
- Soaking up some vitamin D: Studies show that getting some sun exposure can significantly boost a person’s mood. So, if you see it’s a good day, ask them to go on a walk with you or take your pet to the park and enjoy the clear sky.
If you’re reading this and you know someone battling depression, be kind. Depression isn’t an easy condition to overcome. They need emotional support and understanding; patience and encouragement. So, steer clear of negative opinions and try to surround them with positivity. Make sure to affirm to them how much they are loved and that they have a safe space they can run to for help when needed.
What you say to them counts more than you might think.
